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Friday
Nov252011

Hawks Thoughts: Week 8

Previously on "Hawks Thoughts" the team was coming off an exciting win in Vancouver which I foolishly thought was going to set the tone for the five remaining games on the Circus Trip. But no, they bombed out in the province of Alberta, losing to Calgary and Edmonton by a combined score of 14-4. I was not able to watch either of these games because my sister and niece were visiting from Chicago.

My sister, niece and wife are all big Twilight fans and if you didn't know, the books and movies take place in Washington State in a small town called Forks which is way the eff out on the Olympic Peninsula, close to the ocean. It's about a three and a half hour drive out there from Seattle so instead of watching hockey, I was toting those ladies around this podunk village while they creeped various location from the books and movies. 

In retrospect, I would have loved to have watched both of those losses multiple times rather than go through that Twilight road trip. The cherry on top was the speeding ticket I got while driving back home. $113 for going 67 in a 55. Such a ticky-tack speeding ticket. 12 over? I wish you could have heard this cop rattle off the legalese while handing me the ticket. He has it down pat. Small town cops, just filling up the monthly quota while tourists from the big city come to spend money in your shitty county.

So, yeah. I didn't see the games last Friday and Saturday. And I am not done complaining yet.

This past Wednesday night I was all set to sit down and watch the Sharks game except for the small problem that when I tried to access NHL Gamecenter via my PS3 I was unable to log into the system. Apparently their network was down or some bullshit most of Wednesday night. I went on the Twitters and there were some pissed off hockey fans in the same boat as me. And it wasn't just the PS3 people who couldn't watch games, the NHL Gamecenter app on the NHL site was fucked, as were the iPad and iPhone Gamecenter apps.

Thus, I ended up watching some sketchy pirated feed online and it sucked ass.

In conclusion, I have not seen the Hawks play a full game in over a week and so I would like to hereby raise a middle finger and offer a hearty "Fuck You" to: the NHL, the fucknut programmers who run the Gamecenter software, Stepahine Meyer for writing those abortions known as the Twilight books, and Clallam County Deputy Sherrif K. Nestor for giving me a speeding ticket. Please go die in a house fire, all of you. Thanks.

PS: Fuck you to Kristen Stewart for not being hot enough to make it bearable for men like me to sit through your broke-ass movies. Try mixing in a smile once a year.

Anyway, hockey. 

-I wanted Ben Smith. I ached for Ben Smith. MyMiniMainMan got the call-up for the Alberta games and posted a -3 with 1 hit, 2 blocked shots, and four shots on goal. These efforts resulted in a one-way ticket to the press box for the San Jose game. Here's to hoping he gets in the lineup in southern California and gets his game straightened out.

-Duncan Keith is lost when his life partner is not on the ice. Keith and Seabs go together like peanut butter and jelly. Except when jelly gets a lower body injury you're left with a peanut butter sandwich that just sticks to the roof of your mouth and skates to a -8 in the Calgary and Edmonton losses. Get well soon, Seabs.

-What do you think the guys actually do when they go to Vegas for two days? Can they do the stuff that normal people do when they go there? Can they go to strip clubs and play blackjack? I imagine they can just because no one in Vegas or America gives a shit about hockey and no one knows who those guys are. Half the team could walk down State Street and not get recognized.

-Chris Kuc and Adam Jahns both wrote the same article on the same day for competing newspapers. Overlooking the absurdity of that, let's take the opportunity to revel in BABY HOSS. 

-I bought two tickets to the Hawks/Kings game in LA on February 25th. I'm not sure why I did this but I have the tickets and now I don't know if I am going to go. I really should. I have never been to LA and I might be able to sneak in a day at Disneyland which would be an item I could cross off the bucket list.

-Watching the San Jose game all I could focus was the fact that the Hawks were only shooting from horrible angles from the side of the net. I don't remember anyone taking any shots from the slot or in front of Niemi. Maybe that's a function of the defense the Sharks were playing but still, someone *cough*Toews*cough* needs to at least take the puck to the net.

-If no one is going to fight John Scott, why exactly is he in the lineup every day?

-Earlier in the season I kept saying I wanted to see a "signature win" from the Hawks and I kept waiting and waiting. Then they stomped Vancouver last Wednesday and I would have said that was the win I was looking for except that Luongo was out of the game with an injury and all the goals came against the backup.

-The Hawks right now are still trying to figure out who the hell they are and how all the pieces fit together. A lot of this trial and error process has been masked by a relatively easy early schedule and a high point total. But when you put the team under the microscope, the flaws are glaringly obvious: No scoring depth, a shaky defense and some questionable coaching.

-Blackhawk Player Quote of the Week

“We had time to think and re-charge and get our working boots back on.” -- Marian Hossa, on the team’s two day break in Las Vegas.

"Working boots". It's those stupid little slips in his English that make me want to hug him. Love.

-Blackhawk Player Tweet(s) of the Week: From @carbombboom13 (Dan Carcillo):

"Ok. Since my followers seem to b intrigued by my musical interests, I will post a different band everyday and 5 of their best jams "

and then...

"Kick it off with my #1 fav band  1 Your Time Is Gonna Come 2 Thank You 3 Rock n Roll 4 Immigrant Song 5 When The Levee Breaks"

Since Zeppelin is also my all-time favorite band so this pleases me. Carcillo also listed several other bands that he is into which mirrors pretty much everything I grew up listening to. So a stick tap to Mr. Car Bomb for having good taste in music. As for his list of five of Zeppelin's "best jams" I will have to politely disagree. The only song on his list that I really like is "Your Time is Gonna Come" but that would not crack my list of even their ten best songs.

Since you didn't ask, here, in no particular order are five of my favorites:

-Blackhawks record since last Friday: 0-3-0

-Standings: 1st in the Central, 3rd in the West, tied for 3rd in the NHL with 27 points overall (in 22 games).

-Statistics: The power play is up one spot from 17th to 16th (14 for 85, 16.5%); The penalty kill has dropped from 26th to 30th in the NHL, also known as dead freaking last at 73.5%; The Hawks have allowed 18 PPG on the season, and have scored 3 shorties.

-Last week's predictions with results: I said they would win at Calagary last Friday in regulation (lost in regulation, 0 points); I said they would lose in Edmonton in regulation (lost in regulation, 0 points); I said they would beat San Jose in a shootout (lost in regulation, 0 points). Pretty effing grisly.

-The upcoming schedule (through next Thursday) with my predictions: Friday at Anaheim (win in regulation, 2 points); Saturday at Los Angeles (win in regulation, 2 points); Tuesday vs. Phoenix (OT loss, 1 point).

If the Hawks can scrape the four points that I am predicting Friday and Saturday in SoCal, that would give them a 3-3-0 record on the Circus Trip which, all in all, isn't too bad. I've seen that trip chew up and spit out many, many teams over the years, effectively ending their seasons. If they somehow manage to come out of LA and Anaheim with only one or two points and a total of only 3 or 4 points on the trip, well, I think a long look in the mirror is going to be necessary, especially by Stan Bowman who will need to make the appropriate moves to fix this thing. First things first though, take the four points available on Friday and Saturday.

For more nonsense, follow me on Twitter @nCornick.

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